Happy April. It feels like we are right on the cusp of the nice weather as we have been teased with a couple warmer days. Hoping this will only increase. Maybe hoping is the wrong word, since history and stats tells us over the long run this will happen. This way of thinking leads us into this blog's topic, Positivity and Reframing.
The last few blogs have focused on anxiety, confidence, and even how to apply Game Theory and math to psychology. I wanted to continue to build off of these concepts in this blog. Many people get negative very quickly. In fact, for many who struggle with confidence it happens automatically. These same people overlook the concept of statistics, history, alternative explanations, and choices. If only we can teach our brain to think differently, perhaps we would all be more confident.
Many of my clients know I am a really good poker player, hence my interest in game theory. For the record I do not advocate gambling, especially for younger people, or those who cannot control their impulses. However, the game is all about positivity and reframing. In the game of poker the skill is the math and making the best decisions you can make with an incomplete set of information. You may have the best hand, but statistically you may lose. However, over the long term, the best plays, making the best decisions, or at least making the right choices will win. Not realizing this fact leads to a person becoming more emotional, or as a poker player says, on tilt. Tilt only leads to further bad choices. This is not luck, it is as simple as looking at the game over the long term. If you make good choices, and put yourself in the right spots, statistically you will win, despite what appears to be a losing streak.
So how is this applicable to positivity and reframing? Simple - life is a series of choices and putting yourself in good spots. When things do not go well, you can get negative and forget that there may be alternative explanations to why things did not go well for you. You will now be on life tilt, anxious, angry, overly emotional, and make bad decisions This is where reframing is important. Reframing is when you assess and look for other more likely or positive explanations for the outcome that occurred. Many can be obvious, others more subtle. A person should really look at these, use logic, and statistics of the likelihood of each in order to see if one may be better than the initial impulsive reaction. Also, look at the choices and the situations you placed yourself in, as well as your overlooked skills and supports, and see if this was just the one time if did not work out, so that next time it will. Remember assess, don't judge. Doing this you can learn from every experience, both positive and negative.
Remember having a learning mindset can lead to positivity. Even if I lose, did not make the team, got a bad grade, I learned something to apply next time. If I win or play a great game, I still learned something to apply to the next time. In order to remain positive, one must continually use a learning mindset, and reframing our beliefs or assessment of our choices and the situation. As we have said before this is where growth happens
So go out and learn something today, remain positive, and look for opportunities to reframe your mindset. As always Confidence In Performance, Confidence For Life.