Assess - Don't Judge
It has been a busy few months building the practice and getting it going. Along the way I have really learned the importance of assessing and reassessing where you are at in order to adjust goals and remain confident. As people it is very common that we become our harshest critic. We judge our mistakes, get mad at ourselves, in turn creating our own anxiety and struggles with confidence. This is true regardless of whether you are a typical person, a student, or an athlete. As anxiety goes up and confidence goes down, our daily life performance is negatively impacted, which in turn feeds the cycle as we are more prone to make additional mistakes or negative choices.
So what is the solution? It is right in front of us, as all we have to do is assess the situation, not judge ourselves on the outcome. In other words, be okay with making mistakes. Many people say the best way to learn is to make mistakes, which is true, but how often do those same people live that way? I'd say less often than they make the statement. Learning is good for us as that is how we grow, which last time I check is one of the primary goals of living.
So how do we assess ourselves in a positive manner? Look at the situation and ask yourself many of the following questions: What were the positives in the choice so you can plan do to them again? What were the negatives outcomes or choices you made in order to avoid them in the future? What other factors contributed to the outcome? In other words was the outcome based on internal characteristics, or factors outside of our control? Most people attribute the factors in a personal manner, dragging down their confidence, when logically and realistically, much of the time the factors were outside of our control to begin with. However, if we do see the internal factors playing a role, don't judge and beat yourself up, take it on as a challenge, and motivation to make real change.
In the end, how you perceive a situation, and choose to change it, is what determines what happens next for you, and ultimately your confidence in yourself. In other words, avid the judgement trap. So go out and make some mistakes today, laugh about them, assess how to learn from them, and grow.